This is the gist of an email I recently sent to one of the MacroActive trainers we’ve been working with on launching her own fitness platform. The first contact with her had been several years earlier, but she still wasn’t firing. This amazing woman has a strong, engaged social media following, yet her content posting and engagement had dropped off a cliff. I really wanted to understand how we could help her turn a corner to deliver that legacy, that passion to help others that had burned in her for so long. But first I had to get to the core of what was truly holding her back.
The answer came a few days later.
“I was really passionate, and I still am – that’s not gone. To be completely transparent, I was in a terrible relationship that held me back a lot, and it’s only been in the last year I have decided to better myself and leave him.”
Wow, okay. That explained a lot – because having a partner, relationship, or even a family or friendship group that isn’t supportive of you and your dreams is not only painful, it can also derail you entirely.
And unfortunately, it’s way more common than you might be aware.
At a Las Vegas conference about five years ago, I sat with one of the MacroActive trainers whose story resonates on today’s theme. When he was nearing the end of college, his family’s expectation was for him to join his dad’s accounting firm in Austin, Texas. However, his real passion was fitness. After high school, he’d started posting pictures on social media of his workouts, and his body transformations gained him thousands of followers in the process. He began to wonder if fitness might be the career path for him, rather than joining the family firm.
The whole time he was still dating his high school sweetheart. But she was less than overjoyed at the attention his fitness posts got; the comments from other girls and the DMs that filled his inbox. Obsessively stalking his page, and demanding to see his messages, the unhappy girlfriend insisted he shut down the account. So, thinking he was being a good boyfriend, he did. He shelved his fitness account and focused on finishing school.
But with a few months until graduation and D-day (working for his dad) looming, he found himself grappling with what he wanted to do moving forward. He was filled with anxiety. What would make him happy? Was it accounting? (NO!) After a heart to heart with the person who should have been his biggest supporter – his girlfriend – he reached a decision.
So did he follow his heart or his head? Well, the clue is in where I met him (at a fitness event). Yep, at the crunch point, it was the relationship that imploded. As for the fitness dream, he was inspired by the example of Josef Rakich…and pressed go.
In the weeks before graduation, he doubled down on his goals – posting every single day, building up to hundreds of thousands of followers on YouTube and other platforms. He launched the day before graduation and made $227,000 in just three days. And his success has continued.
A happy ending – except for the part where the people in his life he leaned on the most didn’t support his entrepreneurial passion.
I could tell you plenty more stories like these. In these examples, it was pulling the rip cord and freeing themselves from these unsupportive relationships that enabled these trainers to move forward. But a drastic step like that might not be needed if both parties are willing to talk and listen. So here are some places to start:
Firstly, being truthful with yourself is a great place to begin. When you admit what is holding you back you can begin to fix it. Finding yourself in a situation where someone you love isn’t supportive of your purpose and passion can negatively impact your mindset. It can knock your confidence, leave you wondering where to start anew, what to do first, and how to reassert those dreams and plans.
So, ask yourself, are you being held back from what could ultimately be your life’s legacy by those around you?
It’s helpful to have someone to talk to about it – a trusted friend, family member, or even a therapist. An outside perspective might clarify, validate, or give you a different perspective about how you’ve been feeling. Ultimately, if you want to talk to those who feel unsupportive, you’ll need to come from a place of positivity and clarity.
Confronting the issue might bring some surprises. Sometimes it’s jealousy, sometimes it’s their own insecurity, occasionally it’s a total lack of awareness of what you have been going through. By talking about it, chances are you can find common ground or possibly even win them over to your way of thinking. However, if they continue to dismiss your goals as silly, dangerous, naive or make you second guess yourself, it might be time to walk away. They’re not just putting out roadblocks to stop you in your tracks, they are the roadblock itself.
There will always be people in your life who fit right in and make you feel good. You might be too much for some people, but so what? They are not your people. Instead, surround yourself with the tribe you deserve, the people who’ll reflect how you want to be and where you want to go.
Remember the female trainer from the start of this article? Although she offloaded the baggage of a bad relationship, she found herself all at sea when it came to getting her fitness platform back on track. Where should she start? Would her audience even still be there for her? Would we hold her hand and help her get back on track? You bet!
We get it, change is daunting and confronting the things holding you back from your purpose can be scary. But at MacroActive, we know exactly what you’re going through and we’re here to support you 100%. From both a business and personal side, we want you to reach for the stars and realize all that incredible potential you hold.
Because on the other side of letting go of the non-supportive people in your life is a world of abundance.